Well the day has arrived!
Today Popette is off to "big school". Not only is it day 1 of Kindy, but its the start of a new journey in Popette's life.
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Popette trying on one of her uniforms |
I look at my little girl, and still see my little bubba. I don't see a "school girl" or someone who should be going to Kindy. I see my sweet, happy, cheeky little girl who I adore.
I see our little Popette who was born 11 weeks early into this world, and faced the odds of being born prematurely.
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Our little Popette holding Daddy's finger |
I remember the fun times we had together before Cherub was born, as well as the times the three of us shared together while Daddy was at work.
I can't believe I've been at home with her for 5 years! It has flown by! I'm sure all mothers & fathers go through these feelings.
I wish I had longer with her at home. Of course I've had the days when I wished she was at school or daycare, or when she's driven me crazy, that I couldn't wait for her to go to bed!
But there's also been days of much fun, laughter, and those special little moments you want to cherish and hold onto that I've adored, like the many outings to the park, fun times at music or the library, visiting friends and playing together at home.
Over the years we've made lots of craft. I can still hear that little voice asking me
"Mumma can we make something special?", and seeing the excitement on her face when we sit at the dining table making something together.
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Popette painting |
I will miss that little hand of hers holding mine as we walk around the shops or cross the road (thankfully I still get to hold it on the way to school :))
Or the times she tells me she loves me or asks me to sit with her and watch something with her on TV. I will miss hearing her laughter and "constant chatter" around the house, even her running or skipping through the house (after I've told her a million times not to!) and how she helps me with her little sister Cherub.
Cherub is going to miss her big sister so much. Cherub adores Popette. Every chance she gets she gives her sister the biggest of hugs. They love each other so much. They especially love to wrestle each other on the floor. Popette dotes over Cherub. Sometimes I'll hear Popette say to Cherub,
"Darlin' don't do that", or
"Darlin' do you want your bottle? Yes, okay darlin I'll tell Mumma" It's sooo sweet.
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Cherub & Popette on a recent outing |
They are the best of friends.
Seeing them together makes my heart full of pride and love. They are the sweetest things ever.
I so wish I could wind back the clock and spend more time with my eldest girl. There are moments when I think about the couple of years I had with my Dad battling cancer (then passing away) and how I wasn't coping very well and how I pushed Popette (and to a smaller extent Cherub) away. I feel bad, that Popette who was only young, couldn't understand what I was going through and unfortunately didn't get the whole of my attention.
It saddens me that I've lost precious little moments with her which I won't get back. {I'm sorry Popette}.
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My little princess |
If I was to write Popette a letter today it would say:
To my dear Popette, I love you so much. You are such a happy, funny, sweet little girl. I am going to miss you so much while you are at "big school" having fun and making new friends.
I really hope you love your school, and like your teacher.
Leading up to school, you've been so excited about buying your uniform, your lunchbox and school shoes.
You love trying on your shoes, which you tell us that you need to "practice walking in".
You love to sit and write your name and then spell it out (even though you pronounce it with a "B" and not a "V").
When I ask you how many days will you be going to big school, you yell excitedly "5!". Then count my fingers on my hand, I then wonder if you fully understand that you will be there that many days.
I hope that you have a wonderful teacher who will look after you, who is nice to you, nurtures and encourages you, and helps you grow into a confident, happy student.
If you see me crying today, don't think its because big school is scary or because I don't want you to go (I don't, but I know you have to). I'm crying because I am so proud of you, and because I love you so very much.
Lots of love,
Mumma xxx