15 August 2017

When you feel like you are failing...don't give up

Why do I feel as though the past 8 1/2 years haven't accounted for much? Is it because they don't hand out degrees for parenting? There's no shiny award handed out once you have passed the newborn/baby years, toddler tantrum years, preschooler years.

Hubby and I joked the other day that if parenting was a university course, you would start off with your Bachelor's degree over 4 years part-time for the newborn-toddler years, then you move on to the Graduate Certificate for the Preschool to Kindergarten years, then a Masters for primary, then PhD for the high school/teenage years, cause by the time they are teenagers, and you know teenagers, they know everything!

With Cherub starting Kindergarten this year, I had it on my "to-do" list to get back to the workforce once she's settled in at school. Well it's now halfway through Term 3, and I still haven't found a job.

After spending the past 8 1/2 years as a stay-at-home Mum, I have been questioning my abilities and procrastinating (such a time waster!) about whether to start my own business. My confidence levels have been quite low, and I had been feeling frustrated and confused with what I should do with returning to work.

I have been told, "Oh you just need to upskill yourself ", "Do a course", "Become a VA", "Just go for it!"

I know it sounds like I am making up excuses, but it's a terrible feeling to think that you used to be bloody good at your job before having kids, then wham 8 years later you are unsure if you can do that job again and you doubt your abilities. I am sure the knowledge is locked away in my brain somewhere!

While there's been heaps of jobs I could have applied for, most were full-time and far from home. I want to have the flexibility of being able to still help out at the girl's school, be there in the mornings and afternoons for them, and have the ability to attend special events, so with that in mind I have decided to start up my own home business. The fear of not knowing if I can do it or not, is still their in the back of my mind, but I know if I don't give it a go, I'll be kicking myself for it. I also know, that I won't be happy if I just settle on any job, and find that I don't enjoy it and could be doing something else.

So I guess what I am trying to say is if you are finding yourself doubting yourself or abilities or worried that you can't do something like start your own business or setup an Etsy shop (another thing I am working on) because you've been told "there's no money in it", or "my friend tried that and it didn't work", stop it. Don't give up too easily on your ideas or yourself, if you don't give your idea a go, you will never know if you can make something out of it.

08 August 2017

Parenting is hard

Parenting has moments when its just hard, not hardwork when you have to get the washing machine on, make lunches for the kids, get the youngest down for a nap, clean up the breakfast dishes then finally have a shower! Well, it is hardwork but its not what I am talking about.

Its sort of like when you have a newborn, and you go through those sleep deprived days and nights, late night feeds, or getting up to your little one who has been crying for hours with undiagnosed reflux - yep that certainly is hard.

Its when you see those sweet faces who still have a tiny resemblance of the tiny baby they were getting older. {They are growing up so fast!}

Popette and Cherub on the weekend

Its when you hear them tell you something (you possibly already knew) for the first time and hear the excitement in their voice. {They are learning so much!}

Its when you watch them, with confidence, try something new and smash it. {They are needing me less!}

Cherub learning the keyboard

Its when you hear them talk about an Adult issue or join a conversation and come up with a great solution. {They blow you away with how smart and clever they've become}

Its when you grab their hand or cuddle them close that you realise their not your little babies anymore. {They are nearly as tall as me!!}

Having a play at a park over the holidays

Its when you say to them "See you later. Have a good day. I love you!" as they head off to class all ready to learn more. {They are becoming independent, smart, clever girls}

Its that feeling of not having them with you. Its having a quiet house to return to, which years before you craved. Its having peace and quiet you had wished for repeatedly so you can enjoy a book, shower or coffee without being interrupted, suddenly feels too quiet, and you miss the happy cheerful voices.

Its hard to see them turn another year older when all you want is to stop time and keep them as sweet, innocent, little girls.

Its hard to watch them be excited about growing up when you yourself are growing old, and all you want to do is savour each day you have together.

Parenting is hard.